A few days ago I made my dad some orange marmalade. Canned six 4 oz jars of it. It was made using a basic sugar recipe, taking equal parts of fruit mixture and sugar to make the marmalade.

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ORANGE MARMALADE

Prep Time: 30 min
Cook Time: 45 min

2 larges Oranges Thick skinned variety

1 teaspoon Lemon Juice

2 cups Water

3 cups Sugar Approx amount

I took my dad to the doctor’s office yesterday. Had an appointment for 4 pm to see his doctor for general stuff and cause he wanted to find out if she could help him with getting to see a more specialized eye doctor that might be able to help with the trouble he is having seeing the television. And he wanted to talk about pains he is having on occasion in his right arm and his leg. (I think I have that pinned down to being caused by fast temperature drops outside causing draft through the front door, but we wanted to be sure that was all it was), and he wanted to have her get him a referral to a driving school in Anchorage saying that he can drive a car.

So, anyway. The appointment had been for 4 in the afternoon, but I had some trouble getting a ride for me and him so called and asked if she was running late. She was. So nurse rescheduled dad to 4:30 instead. Turned out the ride we had got was not going to be able to get us there by then, so I called back to see if I could move time out a bit more. Rescheduled to 4:45 with note I might be 15 to 20 minutes past that.

I had known from past experience that we would be sitting in the lobby for a while still so I had asked about being late just to be sure we would not miss our appointment time and the nurse had said that was okay, but she said not much past that.

Ended up getting there at 5, which nurse said was great. Place closes at 5 and nurses go home at 5:30.

My dad and I settled in to the chairs to wait. And we waited, and waited. After one hour of waiting I realized that we would not make it to the AmVets meeting that he had wanted to attend at 7. After two full hours of waiting we were shown into the back for the nurse to take vitals. After that was finished we were shown back to the room to wait.

That was at 7:15 based on the text message I sent someone when we were shown back there. And we waited. And waited. Finally right at an hour after we were shown in there the doctor arrived.

My dad had slept through the hour wait, just as he had mostly slept through the wait out in the waiting room. By the time the doctor was there we had forgot most of what we had gone in there for. Which is why taking a list is always a good idea. I had forgot the list though.

I at least remembered that dad wanted to ask her about if she could recommend anyone that might be able to look at his eyes and see if there was a way to correct his vision or not. She is going to try to get him an appointment with the people in on the base in Anchorage that told me they were not seeing retirees at the moment. She’d also mentioned someone that might be able to help with coming out to the house. I’m not sure on that one though, since that is just a person that sells glasses and would be coming from 80 miles away.

I also remembered that he wanted her to say he can still drive and get him a referral to a place in Anchorage that would get him back his driver’s license. Now, I could understand my siblings all encouraging him since they all want to be good little children that he adores, but I had thought his doctor at least might side with me on his inability to drive. Nope. She told him it was a great idea and she would set up the appointment for him.

What. The. Hell????? He can not see, has no vision to the left and minimal to the right. He can not stay awake for more than an hour at a time. He slumps to the side when he sits. Has no use of left side. And is prone to loss of control of his good hand so he can’t hold onto things. And his doctor says it is a “Great idea!” when I say he wants a note from her that he is fit enough to be driving? My brother noted that she just did not want to be the baddie, was passing the buck, but come on! Give the caregiver a bit of a break here and help her out a little. Now when I take him to be told no by the other guys he is going to scream at me to find someone else because his doctor said that he can drive. How is a caregiver supposed to cope when not even the doctors will help? She won’t even help me coax him to stop smoking. It all just makes me want to cry.

We finally got out of there and headed for gas station at 8:55 pm. Missed his American Veteran’s organization meeting and I could not go to the store as I had planned, so we just came home.

Then he spent all night grouching at me, I suppose because the naps in the doctor’s office chairs had been non restful and he was cranky. Or because he realized half the things he had wanted to ask her about were forgotten or lost under her wanting to share stuff about how bad President Obama was.

I hate having to waste four hours, not including the hour driving time or the 3 hours to get me and dad ready to go, that a doctor’s appointment takes.

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So, we went around to the dock entrance, but there was someone there with a bunch of little kids, so we left and went to the boat launch campground area a few miles away. That was a wasted trip, since the only handicapped accessible place where you could see the lake was the boat launch, and there was no parking there. So… back around to where there had been a resort before the Miller’s Reach Fire years ago. That is now some kind of private place with a gate to keep you from being able to see the lake.

Rocky Lake was the next option, however that failed to work as well, since there were no decent places to enjoy the lake from and the one place you can park and sit in a car at there was a bunch of people camping.

We ended up going back up to park by the creek near our house and eating the sandwiches there. I’m going to jump out on Google Maps and find a bunch of good places that me and dad can go picnicking at when we go to town and stuff this year.

So, I went out and picked up the needed dog food and groceries. As I was strapping everything onto the ATV in the parking lot of the local Wal Mart a nice gal paused and talked to me, delightful conversation that just kind of meandered and filled time as I was getting the things on the ATV. I suspect she just wanted to see if I really could fit all of that on that little ATV. The shopping cart was *FULL*, plus a 44 pound bag of dog food and 24 pack of toilet paper on the bottom deal by the wheels. I got it all onto the ATV, however, using two boxes I had picked up from inside to create a carry space on the front rack, two boxes of soda (one of them being my babysitter payment) sat between the matching card board boxes, creating a space where the bread could ride without risk of getting squished. I then bungee corded everything in place. The dog food went on the back rack, the toilet paper side-by-side with a full-sized backpack that held several bags loaded with groceries and my purse and a month’s supply of Kleenex for my dad.

I got a lot of long sideways looks, but what are ya going to do when your only transportation is a small Honda Rancher? Yes, I have a van, but the thing has a busted headlight, the speedometer does not work and it has not been road tested. Until I can crawl under it and repair the speedometer cable I can’t even take it up to the store because I won’t know if it’s going 30 or 60 – well… I could guess on that, but I wouldn’t be sure if it was going 55 or 60 in a 55 mph zone, and I sure as heck can not afford a speeding ticket at the moment.

So, I took the ATV to the store. Stopped off on the way home when I spied a bunch of wild growing daises and picked a few that were growing behind bushes were no one would even see them. I then added in some fireweed and vetch and a few bluebells. Dad just absolutely adored the bouquet I brought him for the 4th of July and wants me to get some daisies and bluebells planted out in the yard.

We had daisies before, but they were killed when the area they were growing got plowed over by a bulldozer at one point over the years. Mom’d always wanted to replant them, so maybe me and dad can get that done if we’re here in the spring next year. I’ll see if I can still get some planted this year, of course, but am not going to hold my breath on it.

We’re back home now, been home a while actually, but recovery from ‘relaxing’ vacation is often longer than the vacation itself was. So, I am getting back to the websites now and will be hunting up things that are of interest to family caregivers again soon.

Then last night my sister and her husband showed back up around 10 pm, hung out for a while, then she started looking for the keys to the car she had given mom years back after dad had his stroke. I was puzzled, but once I figured out what she had been looking for (had to ask her) I got the keys (which I had setting by my purse because I was going to be driving said car), and handed them to her. Turned out she wants to take the car and I need to clear my stuff out of it. As I write this that’s been done and they have the car and I am sitting here carless after having thought I had a car for taking dad where he needed to go and for doing the shopping. Silly me.

What the backstory is… after mom died – the day she was buried, we followed her to Anchorage in the white Cadillac. We stopped on the way home and I filled the tank so it would be ready when I needed the car in the spring because at that time the price of gas was supposed to go up still, so at roughly $5 a gallon I filled the tank in the Caddy.

As I was filling it Helen moseyed around and asked me what I was going to do with the car, because she had apparently heard that I had asked my brother about him driving the car when dad needed to go anywhere since I didn’t like driving in the winter and he lives next door. I’ve not driven much, it has bad brakes, I prefer the professional race car driver to be driving in icy conditions rather than me. She seemed to think I was giving him the car, I said to her, “You gave it to mom, I know that. If anyone other than Dad gets it it’d be you.” She replied with, “Oh no! It’s dad’s car, and I want you to keep it and drive it, I just don’t want anyone else driving it because they would ruin it.” We talked for a bit and I made it clear I would not drive it in the winter, I’m not a good enough driver to feel safe on the road with the lunatics that need to relearn winter driving every year, I’d wait for Spring then drive it. She seemed to have no problem with that, car was dad’s and I was to drive it so me and dad had transportation. She made a few hints I should drive some before the snow hit, but I never got the chance to and didn’t really care to drive until the brakes got fixed on it. So I left it parked for the winter.

I kept paying the insurance every month, faithfully, just to be sure it would still be insured this month when I could safely drive it. Car was parked, but I paid the insurance, because I knew I would be driving this spring.

Now, last night… she takes the car away from me. No forewarning, no comment, just searched through things for the keys and without a word on what she was up to took the car. I had to dang near pull teeth before she admitted that yes, she’s keeping it and I have to empty my things and mom’s and dad’s stuff outta it. At first she’d commented that it would be up here a lot so I could get things any time I wanted to, I chose to get stuff today since the car didn’t start last night. They were back around noon today with a wrecker and took it away.

They also have dad down there, which is the second night in a row he’s spent the night down there – in same clothing he had day before yesterday, sleeping on a recliner in the garage rather than them bringing him back home to sleep in his bed. I expected him to be back when they came after the Caddy, but they didn’t bring him home then. Called a while ago, nephew said he had no idea and would have his mom call me back, haven’t heard from her yet though. No idea when, or if, dad’ll be home. Which means he won’t get a chance to rest before I have to go to the Saturday Market deal in the morning to try and kickstart a new home based business to try and earn money to help make ends meet. They were supposed to take dad so I could go get that going, but I’m uneasy now after two full nights sleeping in a chair in a garage. That can’t be good for his health, but I have no way out at this point, I have space reserved (have for a couple weeks now) and everything, all I can do is let them keep him one more night and go to the Saturday Market and have dad brought home tomorrow evening.

I’m not amused at any of it, in case it don’t show. (And this is only the things I can growl about publicly – sheeeeesh).

So, this evening I’ll have my brother drop off medications, clothes and PJs so at least Dad has had a change of clothing down there and something more comfortable than corduroy pants to sleep in. Then I’ll get ready for the Saturday Market I am supposed to be at starting at around 8 or 9 in the morning.

I had planned to take Caddy up to it, now I will be figuring out how to get my quilting things onto my ATV, since my brother has other things he needs to be doing at that time.

Don’t ya just love family? No wonder mom used to watch Momma’s Family and Rosanne and say she watched because it made her feel like her family was normal.

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(And no, I’m not joking – they live upstairs of the garage and he can’t get up there, so he sleeps in recliner downstairs in the garage with the cars when he’s at her place. I don’t like but can’t stop it either cause he wants to see other peoples and they don’t visit him here very much – plus, they let him smoke all that he wants to, I limit him to a cigarette every half hour.)