Things left unfinished
I’ve undecorated the house now. There are still a few things left over to be put away, but I have the tree ornaments all put back away and the tree is tucked away until next year. I no longer have the box that the tree came in years ago, so I would normally wrap it in rope and tuck it away. This year I took the polypropylene bags that are left over from the dog food (Old Roy brand Kibbles & Chunks . I save the 40 lb bags and fold them up, finally know why I was collecting them – they’re strong enough to keep tree branches safe.) Anyway, I spent the week before Christmas getting the house ready for the family to stop in and see Grandpa… then of course only two of them actually came by to see Grandpa, and when they left they informed him “We’re having the family over tomorrow, come see everyone”….
So, for Christmas dad went to their place, rather than do as he had wanted to and stay home. He had a good time, but I know he had wanted to stay home for Christmas. He’d had it planned out since Thanksgiving that he wanted the house all nicely decorated for the holidays and for his kids, grandkids and great grandkids to come up and see him just like they (well most of them) have done every year. Instead, as with Thanksgiving, he had to go off to one of their houses to see them all.
I suppose I can understand if they did not want to come up here without mom being here, but rarely came around before she passed on, so why should I expect any of them would come see dad now? I know that for at least one of them it is a matter of owing him money that the person does not admit they owe, but hell – why punish my dad for that? The person avoided mom because of that debt and now never has a chance to make up for having avoided her, never has a chance for …. It just really pisses me off that rather than say “I know that I owe that to you, but I really can not afford to pay you back,” they say “I don’t owe that, and unless you prove it in writing I’m not paying you back.”
Just a few days before she passed on my mom said something I will never forget. I had made the comment that I could never hope to pay the house off, because every time I got a little bit ahead in saving money for it, someone would need to borrow money and even though I knew they could not pay it back I would lend it to them. My dad said that I just needed to learn how to say “No.” And I said I couldn’t do that. Mom said that money could be replaced, family couldn’t. That is a lesson that the person I was just talking about does not get. And it is a shame, because in the long run, they are the one they are hurting. Someday my dad will no longer be here, and when that happens there will be no way for the person to back up and spend time with him, to come visit him on his birthday and wish him a happy birthday, to say Merry Christmas… there will be no way for them to ever give him a hug and whisper “I love you” and hear him say it back to them.
New Years Day is only a few days away, I think everyone should make a resolution to talk to those they love more, to spend a little more time with family and to not let stupid things keep them from seeing someone – things like owing someone money, or not wanting to go somewhere that someone is no longer there. They say that life is too short to not tell someone you love “I love you.” Every night all through my life I have hugged my parents and said “I love you” just before I went to bed. It is something that I look back on now and am so thankful I did.
I went off on rambles, so I will end this post now and go find some coffee and more Kleenex. I suppose I just had to get that all out, so there it is. Im not even going to bother rereading it, so apologies any typos or unfinished sentences.